Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday; it is the beginning of Lent, the forty days (minus Sundays) before Easter. Last year when I read Chelle's post on this topic I was impressed that I wanted to make Lent meaningful in my life as a time to prepare for and celebrate the Easter season. In fact, I posted about it.

So, I've been thinking the past week or so about what I could/should give up for Lent. And last night as I was going to bed I thought, perhaps I should ask God what He wants me to give up - since the purpose of Lent is to sacrifice something to get closer to Him. It was just a thought, not an actual prayer, though it should have been.

Then this morning I got up and since I'm on vacation the first thing I did was get on my computer and I read this article that showed up in my google reader. I could have written this article - confessions of a "bad pray-er."

One of my 2009 goals is to have kneeling, vocal prayer morning and night. By writing this I am confessing publicly that I'm not a very good pray-er. I often have a prayer of gratitude in my heart, especially when I'm skiing or any time I notice the beauty of the earth. I love God; I believe He answers prayers, but I'm not so good at the formal, consistent, kneeling, vocal prayers that I know should be my habit.

When I read the essay on Segullah (which by the way is an excellent site of thoughtful essays by Mormon women and be sure to read the comments, great insights and discussions are there) I realized that was God's answer to my prayer/thought.

The thing I need to give up for Lent is my will, my strange reluctance to formal, daily prayer. I need to keep my goal of kneeling, vocal, heartfelt, morning and evening prayers.

Wish me luck - or better yet, pray for me.