Sons of Mine/Motherhood

These handsome young men are my sons. For the first time in my life I live with all men. I have to admit I was a little worried about this as Jenny married and moved out and Todd moved back in for a short stay. But I am finding that I enjoy their company and they are good and kind.

When I got pregnant the first time I really wanted to have a girl first. So much so that I dreamed while pregnant that I had a boy and told them to "take it back, I don't want a boy." This was disturbing to my confidence as a future mother - what kind of mother says she doesn't want her newborn baby because of the gender?!? Well, Laura Anne was a girl and I was happy and relieved. And she really has been Mary Poppins, "practically perfect in every way" her whole life.

When I got pregnant the second time, I was expecting a boy. I think it was because I thought "been there, done that" with the girl baby. But when Mary Lynn was born I was so happy to have two little girls and imagined all the matching dresses I would sew them. I loved having two little girls and even more have loved watching them be friends. She has brought much joy to our lives with her fun sense of humor and I still love watching her dance videos.

When I got pregnant the third time, I thought "I'll probably have all girls." And I was okay with that - except for getting all their hair done on Sunday mornings before church. I thought that Rich would be antsy for a boy, but he said he adored his girls and they adore him, but he wanted a boy for me. He had just taught a Mothers Day lesson in Elders Quorum and all the men had shared their tender feelings for their mothers. He said boys have a special bond with their mothers and he wanted that for me. And Brian Richard joined our family. It was fun to have a boy for a change, and Brian was so cute with his blonde hair and brown eyes. He has a kind heart and is a born salesman/deal maker.

When I got pregnant the fourth time I was kind of hoping for a boy - wanting my family to be symmetrical and all. I was happy to have another boy in Todd Rusty. Todd was such a happy and easy baby and child; he could always entertain himself and was very low-maintenance. This has translated into a very pleasant and cheerful adult.

When my boys became teenagers and I realized that they really only valued their mother as a provider of food and clean clothes - not for her opinions or advice, I was crushed. I know now this is a stage they need to go through to find their independence. And then when they chose different lifestyles and values from my own, I was personally offended.

But now as adult men I appreciate their kindness and affection toward me, and I'm grateful for the relationship that we have. My boys have skills that their parents lack - mostly in any area requiring tools, manual labor or mechanical know-how. It's great to have someone you're related to (and let's face it, who owes you) when you need a "handy man" in your life. I love that when I have a flat tire I can make one call and have a competent son show up and cheerfully change my tire. (It was Todd last Saturday and Brian a couple of years ago) I love that they can lift and fix and work hard for me and now that they are adults they do it cheerfully and are happy they can help. I love that they hug me and tell me they love me often and ask how they can help me. What more could a mother want?

To complete the story:

When I got pregnant the fifth time I wanted another girl. Well, actually right after Todd was born I felt like there was a little girl coming to our family next. (I think this was God's way of making sure I didn't give up after the terrible birth experience I had with Todd) So, I was hoping that our little girl would come and then I would be "done." Jenny Joy did come and she has lived up to her middle name, bringing joy to our family from the day she was born right up until yesterday when she and Trevor surprised us by coming to Sunday dinner unexpectedly!

When Jenny was two years old I started thinking about another baby - I wasn't baby hungry because I was pretty much overwhelmed with taking care of five children. But "that subject seemed to occupy my mind, and press itself upon my feelings the strongest." (D&C 128:1) And so we decided that Michael Thomas was knocking and we welcomed him into our family. Michael is a good and determined person, quieter than most Rife children. I love that he takes school and church seriously and he's currently coming nicely out of his "grunt" stage. He is also affectionate to his mother.

I always knew that I wanted at least four children, since that's how many were in my family, and Jenny and Michael are definitely bonuses, frosting on the cake. I'm glad they let us know that they needed to come our family even before they were born! They have been delightful children to have in our family and it wouldn't be the same without them.

I started this post about my sons, but all in all I'm SO grateful to be a mother of six wonderful children. I can't believe God entrusted ME with these spirits and helped me to keep them alive (and hopefully teach them a little something) so they could become the wonderful adults that they are.

As I was watching Laura's video of Andrew walking I was remembering that I had those sweet moments with each of my children - when they were learning to walk and I sat on the floor and cheered them on as they stumbled into my waiting arms for a hug.

I love you Laura, Mary, Brian, Todd, Jenny and Michael.